Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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