i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
