You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I sprained my soul last night
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
