I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Randomize
