What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
