I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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