the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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