Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
