That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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