but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
false alarm, still single
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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