I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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