i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
