The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
