he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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