Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just threw up on my dentist
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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