I seem to have left my pride at pride
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So squirting runs in the family.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
