I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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