Sry I called you an 8
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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