weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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