Pappa wants mamma naked
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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