She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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