you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i believe in u and ur pee
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