I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize