My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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