I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
