I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
