i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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