She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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