Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
