Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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