I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
