Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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