How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
