Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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