Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
