Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
