I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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