I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
