There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
