Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize