To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We named our party play list daddy issues
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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