oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
