Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
