I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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