): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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