you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
