i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
