if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
