so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
