yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
