Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
NoShamevember. You game?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize