my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
