I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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