she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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