It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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