He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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