Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
