I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
that may or may not have been my penis.
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