and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
