I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
